Power Rankings: Episode 33 – S3

Msurdej:  Well it finally happened folks. Cambodia has embraced the sweet release of death. It was a long time coming for ol’ Norodom, who started the game with a second city in an unenviable position, and lost it by part 4. They sat as a city state for the rest of the game, occasionally getting into wars that wouldn’t amount to much. But now Bengal has put them out of their misery, leaving them at 32nd. Which is about 25 spots higher than they should have been.

Rosay:

Sometimes a civ dies in the first half of civs on but they accomplish so much that they can still have a legacy as sort of a sleeper empire, that is not the case for slippin kimmy. The only thing of note is that he was the longest surviving original stooge and that’s not exactly a legacy to aspire to.

Rosay:

Yeah, with Lithuania one foot in the grave, I think I should give them an early eulogy before they enter a quantum alive state. Going in I was really thinking Lithuania was going to be the counterbalance to Brandenburg in Europe. For the past 30ish parts I would like to declare technically correct. In all fairness Lithuania's game impact is just “stop Brandenburg from growing” because they actually had some real accomplishments during this cycle, the initial invasion of the Permian and the successful conquering of Vladimir both point to this but its primary purpose was always holding back the stronger Brandenburg, or at least invading them if Brandenburg were to get greedy, but with Turkey helping Brandenburg invading Lithuania, there was no coming back. Rip Lithuania, maybe one day you will return and lead your people to victory.

Orange:

Well, it’s been a good run. And by good I mean better than anyone expected and in some ways quite fun. And hey, they’re putting up a pretty good fight here in the end constantly flipping those two cities back when they have no right to still be doing so. But all good things must come to an end and it looks like for our bois in Purple that time is right about now.

Rosay:

With Cambodia gone (may god rest their souls) the cylinder is in dire need of a new rump civ that refuses to despite being laughably behind in the tech game (just barely being considered as an industrialized nation). Uganda, I nominate the prestigious title of “max defense rump” to you. You mountains make invading you impossible and your neighbors do not have a desire to take you down even if they wanted to. For Angola does not possess the reach to do so and Yemen has grown fat on its scientific progress stolen from Turkey. May you stall your way to the top 10, either pissing off or impressing us all, and get me those sweet sweet pr prediction points.

Cloudy:

We’ve said a few times here that Indonesia’s best expansion option was to take Afghanistan’s exclave and then kill Cambodia. But now that Cambodia’s dead, what else is there to do? Die?

Msurdej:Windradyne and his remnant of an empire didn't even appear in this part. The big question around Wiradjuri isn’t if they’ll win. It’s how they’ll die. Timor Leste is the safe bet, but my money’s on the Inca.

Reformer:

We saw this part that Chad has a very temporary opportunity to ravage the lands Angola took from them. Barely any units are left to garrison occupied Chad while Angola burns down the Kilwan coast. But even if Chad took this rare opportunity…the war would quickly turn against them, due to a massive production difference. So what’s the point? Well, going down in a blaze of glory instead of existing as a pitiful rump for another 200 turns, that’s what.

Emu:

Yugoslavia goes in for round 2 against ol' Brandy, and it's hard to see them pulling off another conquest like last time, or even a successful defense of Zagreb. Fred-Willy has finally hardened his country up, and Tito's amazing diplomacy has secured him a place on the trash pile of Europe. No Yugoslavians at the gates of Berlin this time. Who knows, maybe this will be the part that Tito finally gets served the tall glass of Brandy we've been expecting for so long. The historical weakness of this season's Europe can't save the minor powers of the region now.

Leman:

Oh boy! It wasn’t noticed because the fallout didn’t load so it wasn’t mentioned in the narration, but Cree launched the first nuke, blowing Wootei-niicie to bits. Arapaho responded in kind by absolutely irradiating the Rockies, but I’m proud of Poundmaker for being the first one to press that button. I’m also impressed with this defense. Arapaho ended the part with the largest military on the cylinder with 2.5 million troops, while Cree only has 133k. Despite that, despite being nuked a dozen or so times, the Cree only lost two cities this part. I imagine a few more are about to fall next episode, but for now peacing out with enough strength to contest the Gokturks seems like its still on the table.

Altima:

Castile continues to exist. They rise two ranks as two other powers fall. Such is life in the walls of the world.

Msurdej

Greenland reaches its highest point at 21. But with only 30 living civs left, that still leaves Hans in the bottom ten. They might be able to deal with America if a coalition formed, but that’s really their best shot at making gains.  

Altima

The Yanks didn’t do anything this part. No surprise, not a lot they can do anymore. They might be able to dick over the Greenlanders once more per the military scores, but that’s it. Still, they rise two on the failures of others, as is the fate of middlers like them.

Reformer:

Can’t wait til Anglo-Dutch is the highest rank civ that started in Europe. You know as well as I do that all of Brandenburg, Yugoslavia and Normans are just fodder for Turkey. I for one will find it fitting, considering how scrappy this orange civ has been.

Rosay:

Early on I was the biggest Gokturk skeptic, then later the biggest Gokturk supporter when they invaded the stooges to appeal specifically to me, and now with everything settled, I have landed roughly in the middle of the Gokturk rankings. Honestly the gokturks aren’t really able to expand anymore even in the event of a coalition war, unless someone just doesn’t man their Gokturk front or the Gokturks are secretly storing an army of top tier generals commanding an army of super soldiers. Hey at least you guys are doing better than Cree,

Altima

C’mon Muisca. Kayapo has more warmonger penalties than military units and is busy with a war on their other front. This is quite possibly your last chance to do something real, to join the big boys. Join the fight against your southern neighbor before the Inca eat them instead.

Emu:

The Normans are probably Europe's most disappointing civ, and that's saying something on a continent with an extremely low ABV bottle of Brandy. At this point I think it makes sense to dismiss them as literally just another Two Sicilies. It's sad that this is the best the Italian peninsula can produce. You were supposed to break the curse, Bobby. You are the burnout gifted kid of Europe. What are you even here for anymore? Go to community college or something, I don't know. And for fuck's sake, declare war on someone.

Cloudy:

Breaking news everyone, Bengal did a thing! And even more incredible, they did a seemingly impossible thing: kill Cambodia. As a result, we’ve dropped Bengal one rank, because one city isn’t that valuable but this might cause other civs to remember that Bengal exists, which would be bad.

Leman:

Another quiet part for Yemen. While their stats (especially population and tech) continue to improve, Yemen still looks mediocre compared to the big civs like Turkey and Timor-Leste. What’s worse is that one of their best expansion opportunities, Kilwa, is being gobbled up by Angola. Yemen better get on that and at least clean up the Kilwa islands before Angola snags them all in a peace deal or something.

Cloudy:

Oh boy, where to even begin. Long story short, Kayapo is falling apart at the seams. They lost 13 cities to the Inca this episode, and while they might briefly capture Chan Chan, their hopes seem dim. Kayapo has the smallest army of any non-rump, and they don’t seem to be using any of it to defend their lands, so the Inca are mostly just walking into cities unopposed. Yes, sure, none of those were cities in Kayapo’s original core, but they were Kayapo’s future, and without them I don’t see how Raoni can win South America. And really, forget winning South America—Kayapo’s survival as a major player is clearly at stake if they don’t miraculously turn things around.

Leman:

Kokang’s defense against Mohave’s transpacific invasion is faltering as they lose Kaifeng and Saungkang to Mohave ships and probably nuclear hellfire respectively. While I don’t think this is lasting damage – Kokang has come out of this war more or less intact, this relatively poor defense makes me worry about what’s going to happen when the closer and more powerful Timor-Leste comes knocking.

Reformer:

Mali jumps past Kokang and Kayapo to reach 11th, their highest position ever. One could argue that they didn’t do much to deserve this, but being an African civ this season grants you some special exceptions. Though Mali is not a particularly strong civ, the neighborhood is not too strong either, allowing for opportunities that civs of this strength on other continents simply would not have. I do also find it worthwhile to mention that Mali is very close to Kayapo, and thus Kayapo crumbling removes one of the more immediate threats to Malian sovereignty. I mean, sure, Angola is still around, but they’re distracted…

Leman:

Don’t let that one rank rise fool you, that’s just Kayapo falling apart. Afghanistan did fully nothing this part. That’s not so bad, Afghanistan is finally back in the top ten, but if I’m being honest, with half our civs dead, top ten is not the badge of honor it used to be. Afghanistan’s stats aren’t bad, they have got solid militaries, effective science and production scores, and aren’t facing any major economic hardships like Han or Brandenburg, so I still see a future for them, in the BR, but time is ticking.

Emu:

Angola is the dark horse of this season. They've been making moves, but they've never really gotten as much focus as the other top 10 powers. They got here mostly by being the strongest civ in a weak Africa, but there's a question as to how long that'll save them. Until Total War to be sure, but at this point they definitely still have the time to become the surprise African contender to the crown. Their weakest point right now is probably their navy, which if left long enough Timor will surely decide to take some advantage of. They don't have to do anything to stay top 10, but they need to bulk up internally to have any chance at making it further than that.

Orange:

Ol’ Frederick is trying his hand again at fighting the Yugoslavs, and it’ll probably be more successful this time than previously. But like, I’m still just so apathetic towards them, Yugoslavia somehow coming up on top would be a dream but last time they gave up despite winning so who knows what they’ll give up this time now that Brandenburg actually has units to push with. Glory be to the Anglo-Dutch I hope they somehow win Europe!

Msurdej:

The Han fell a rank this part, as like Afghanistan, they did nothing in this part. Unlike Afghanistan though, Wu has major money problems. With no money to his name, and thousands of gold in debt, Han’s effective science and military might has plummeted. They will continue to lag behind the science leaders, and their army will keep disbanding. When that happens, Kokang or the Tuva could sweep in and wipe out the Han.

Altima:

Tuva drops a rank despite their victory against the Lithuanians. There are two reasons at play here- one, taking a bunch of snow cities isn’t gonna move the needle at this point. Two, their population density (or rather, lack thereof) is increasingly a problem for their future prospects. They’re still in the top ten, if nothing else because their stats are still solid for now and we’re running out of other viable top tenners, and they do still have viable paths to victory, but things might get a bit shaky if they can’t start getting some pop in these cities.

Emu:

You know, I'm beginning to come around on Mohave, if only because I don't like Arapaho more. I respect the move of barely having any cities yet being a top 5 power anyway. They should be Inca food, and yet, here they are, with over a million military score and super-advanced tech. Their thin chain of Pacific cities from California to Japan should by all rights collapse at any real invasion, but instead it's looking like they'd take *more* territory if war were declared. Also it reminds me of Ace Attorney.

Orange:

Arapaho drops a spot not really for their own fault but more-so because the Inca just had an incredible episode. But Pretty Nose isn’t slacking, she’s already back on the grind against the Cree and this time, the party is really getting heated. The first nukes have been dropped and really, who knows how many more will fall until the blue menace is wiped off the map…

Cloudy:

The Inca have had a hell of an episode, with a well-timed and devastating attack against Kayapo netting them 13 cities so far, with more on the horizon. By the time this war is over, it’s probable that the Inca will have dispelled any doubt about who is top dog in South America, even though many of us thought that Kayapo was on the home stretch. These gains have also catapulted the Inca into second place in number of cities, behind only Timor-Leste, and the top spot in that category is up for grabs if their successes continue. All told, most of the power rankers think the Inca are on track to join Turkey and Timor-Leste in the superpower tier—as long as they keep the pressure up, and don’t let Kayapo pull any of their funny tricks.

Orange:

I would just like to say that I put Timor-Leste first, so them being only second is not my fault. But anyways, T-L didn’t really do much last part if you’re just looking at the part, but if you check the stats sheet then wew. 50 cities, 1,000 effective science above the next highest (25% higher), 7.5k production (50% higher than second), and the largest non-nuke army. This is, to be clear, an utterly dominating stat sheet. Turkey ain’t even close. So all I’m saying is, Turkey may have the moves right now, but T-L has the power and I can not wait till those two meet.

Reformer:

A quiet part for Turkey, but no reason to doubt their number one spot. Timor is immensely strong, but the Oceanian positioning still makes life less easy for them, whereas Turkey has for once in CBR’s history turned into benefit the usual downfall of Middle Eastern civs: being in the middle of everything. Turkey can attack in any direction and make substantial gains. But as Cloudy said, a new superpower is rising in South America in the form of Inca, and it’ll be interesting to see how global geopolitics shift from here.

Either way, some concerns have been raised over what seems like a fairly thin army, something which could become a problem if a coalition ever forms, but at this point I’m not confident the other AIs can be brave enough to commit to such a thing. It would make for a great story, that’s for sure, the downfall of giants is something I always enjoy.